Monday, March 28, 2011

This is my year.


I am sitting here all alone. Yes. Again. Only now it's daytime. This alone is normal. Only it isn't.

This is my year; the year I've been counting down to for ages. The year all three of my children would be in school all day. Finally time for me. Time to craft, to exercise, to learn an instrument and to sleep.

This is my year. But rather than do the things above I am wishing my babies were home. This morning I did not want to send them out of the house. I wanted to learn piano with Little. I wanted to help Middle start a writing project and I wanted to help the boy list items on Ebay. I wanted to let them sleep in and I wanted to feed them a wholesome breakfast. Instead I woke them and shoved them out the door.

Today I read a poignant essay about a boy who died at twenty. What if that were my son? All those years sending him to school when he could have been at home.

This is not to say I don't believe in education. I do. Strongly. But why have we contrived a society that so easily places our children under the care of others? Could not some of that education take place at home? Clearly it can. Thus the homeschooling revolution.

I wonder would I? Could I? If you'd asked me a year ago about homeschooling I'd have replied No Way, No How!

Now I'm not so sure. I've got grand plans for the summer. It's going to be my testing ground. From there we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime I'm sitting here, tears running down my cheeks, wishing my babies were home.


9 comments:

Tammie said...

oh shalet, im sorry. i hope your tears hae dried.

i often feel the same way you do. i cant wait to get my kids out of the house for the day but then i find myself looking at the clock waiting for them to come home. i wish there was some middle ground between home school and conventional school. if they were at school two or three full days a week and then i did the rest of the schooling at home, that would be perfect.

Sheryl Rayner said...

Your kids are so lucky to have you!

Jordan said...

*hugs and love*

giftsofthejourney said...

I wish I could go back to when my daughter was in middle school and do those years over. I would not work so hard for any price and I would be more present when we were together and less distracted by everything else.

It's such a short time and then they are gone, not in the sad way of the boy in the essay, but they are gone just the same focusing on their jobs and life and the million little things that distract them.

You still have time.

Shalet said...

Thank you ladies! I picked the girls up from school and we went to the library. Then Middle and I made Angry Chicken's homemade deodorant and the boy and I washed the dog's behind (don't ask). I am happy.

donna said...

Shalet...the answer is yes you could homeschool. And a lot of school districts are starting programs offering one day a week in a conventional school environment for homeschoolers so you can have the best of both worlds if you want. Our experience coming from a normal school environment to homeschooling has been fantastic. I feel like our lives are so less hurried and we get to do things together that we never would have had the chance to do had we not homeschooled. I know its not for everyone but it has really worked for us.

Gayle at Planet M Files said...

Shalet, I know exactly how you feel. It's tough for us moms, isn't it? My oldest will be off to college (7 hours away) in August. I'm going to miss him so much.

Pam said...

After homeschooling the past five years this has been the first year my two are both at school. (My son went back last year.) I wouldn't change anything (well that's not entirely true) about that those years. But for us it was time for a change - time for a little space. And I have found 2:30 arrives each day rather quickly.

☼Illuminary☼ said...

Home schooling~
sigh
yeah..
It's not what most think it is..
and it's different for everyone who goes thru it.
It IS about the kids.
About them and the way they learn and what they want to learn, and what they need to know .
But more I am finding out it's about the world view, the bigger picture and how simple things get stuffed into their heads, that you might not want there.
Hmmm
I even wonder if I am making any sense.
spend the moment and try it.. it's eye opening...
~smile~