I am amazing and so are you.

Alright. So I'm writing this post in advance. Mostly because a) I have to work tomorrow and b) Mr. Peculiar would kill me if I told you was home alone tonight.

Yes, that's right. Home alone. Okay, well not really alone as there are two dogs, three cats, six chickens and I don't know how many fish in my presence. But you get the gist.

This is a rare occasion for me. I'm accustomed to being alone during the day. But night? That's a whole different story.

You see the Mister and the Boy went to the valley to retrieve the girls. And me? I stayed behind to bring home the bacon. You got it -- I had to work.

Now I left the house this morning with a cup of coffee and no other plans for nourishment. This was a tad myopic as I had a twelve hour shift ahead of me. Were I, perhaps, a touch more organized I might have considered food a vital part of my day.

But no. I elected to wing it. As such breakfast was a stale doughnut. And lunch? Multigrain chips with salsa (we're just going to pretend this is a healthy and well balanced meal).

And of course I had no dinner plans. What? No dinner plans on a Saturday night? Sad but oh so true.

I was lucky enough to finish my records before the next doctor came on shift. In my remaining half hour I jumped on the net. By happenstance I came across this amazing recipe. And I thought I can do that. Now let me tell you *that* sure beats the frozen broccoli and cheese I was previously contemplating.

On the way home I stopped by the store -- picked up a tomato, some goat cheese and greens. And a cheapo bottle of wine to boot.

Because you know what? It may be just me. It may be just me, alone, in scrubs covered in who knows what kind of organic material (ahem, enough said). But I deserve it. I deserve to eat well. To treat myself as if I matter. Because I do. I matter. And so do you.

So the next time you are thinking of selling yourself short think again. And treat yourself like the amazing and wonderful person that you are.

XO.

PS -- Serendipity. While puttering about the kitchen I discovered we had one, ONE, espresso chocolate chip cupcake in a jar sitting oh so alone. Did I eat it? You know I did.

The Boy

The boy and his fishing spear

My son is fourteen, almost fifteen. I don't talk about him much in this space. He's older and more often than not off galavanting with his peers. Gaggles of teenagers don't much like camera toting mamas two steps behind.

But this week has been different. It's spring break. The girls are visiting my folks and the boy stayed home. Most of his friends are gone -- off to San Francisco and other exotic places. Thus he's been hangin' with me. It has been nothing short of lovely.

This morning, at the boy's request, we got up early and went to an estate sale. He bought a set of bull horns (as in horns of a bull) that just crack me up. I came home with several treasures which I am falling in love with. I'd best list them soon before they end up as permanent parts of this clutter home decor.

Anyway back to the boy. This afternoon his friend came over and they built a fire in the chiminea. Their original plan was to catch a quail and roast it. Can you tell they are totally into Survivor Man?

Quail are fast little buggers and there were none to be caught. Were the boys defeated? No. Their plan simply morphed. They carved fishing spears and, as I type, are at the river spearing dinner.

It will be okay if said dinner never arrives. You see I have store bought fish waiting in the fridge. When the boys tire and finally come inside we'll cook together -- fish and chips.

I have to tell you. It warms my heart to see him out there. Active. Exploring. Thinking. Doing. Such a beautiful use of time.

I wish all days could be like today.

XO.

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Things I'm loving today:

• The boy's outfit; a mama knit hat, thrifted pendleton flannel and blue jeans
• The smell of a campfire in my backyard (makes me feel like I'm on vacation)
• Exciting vintage finds; fans and suitcases and jars -- oh my!
• Teaching the boy to cook (hopefully he'll leave this house with a modicum of culinary finesse)
• The sun streaming in through the back window after a day of snow flurries
• Fantasies about a potential summer road trip, trailer in tow
• And, finally, sitting in my chair with a delectably warm computer on my lap and a cat on the arm rest. Ah! This is the life!

Up for the Count

I woke to the rhythmic ding Ding DING, ding Ding DING, ding Ding DING of the intercom. Someone was at the front door. I sat up -- dazed and confused. I was at work and had been catching a cat nap on the futon in the office. It was 5:00 am.

The overnight technician answered the door and started intake paperwork. I wiped drool off my face, stumbled to the bathroom and brushed my hair. The results were questionable at best. Though I'd hoped for stellar and erudite I had to settle for tolerably competent. And, given the hour, even that was dubious.

Our patient was a spastic rat terrier who woke his owners with a deluge of diarrhea; bloody diarrhea no less. Not what anyone wants to be greeted with in the wee hours of the morning.

Now we see quite a bit of bloody diarrhea in these parts*. Thus we are fairly nonchalant about the such things. I have to remind myself this is scary for people. They are not here to disrupt my sleep (well okay -- they are but it's not their primary impetus). No, they are here because they are worried and, quite frankly, terrified about their pet's condition. Certainly if my human children presented with similar signs I'd be a basket case and barrelling through the doors of our local ER.

Despite his illness our patient was bright and chipper. We were able to treat him as an out-patient and send him on his way. Hopefully his people, now educated about his condition, left with a touch less worry in their hearts.

After discharging Fido (name changed to protect confidentiality) I surveyed my surroundings; a strip mall parking lot with a dental office and street sweeper in the distance; not exactly a five-star view. But beyond the concrete was the rising sun and clouds, fluffy and golden, radiantly reflecting the light. It seems there were advantages to waking early.

By that time it was six am. Rather than being down for the count I was up for the count; meaning I had (have) a long day ahead of me. I had charts to finish, insurance forms to fill out and a patient to discharge. After that my primary task was (is) to stay awake.

You see I will be working the day shift this weekend. This means I have to switch from night owl to passably human over the next two days.

It is spring break. Though my girls are visiting Grandma and Grandpa the boy is home. As is Mr. Peculiar. This week he worked Sunday through Wednesday, has today, Thursday, off and works again tomorrow. As per our moniker we hold peculiar hours. The boys want me to go thrifting with them. I think I will. After all I have to do something to stay awake.

Now you have been given fair warning. If any wackado items appear in the shop you may turn me in to Regretsy. I will steadfastly blame any and all oddities on a lack of sleep.

Thank you for stopping by and have a joyful day.

XO.

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* Bloody diarrhea has many causes from pancreatitis to parvoviral enteritis to hemorrhagic gastroenteritis. It always warrants a trip to your local veterinarian.

Happy Vernal Equinox!

Of course it snowed today. Such is life.

XO.

Out on a limb

So when I was a teenager I went to a retreat. Something akin to Marriage Encounter for youngsters (and no I wasn't married but my parents were and still are). Realistically it was a weekend for parents to relish sans children. My parents were nudists. And scientists. Seriously. Who knew what happened when we kids weren't around. Either a lot of sex or some earnest fun analyzing punch cards.

The retreat was all woo woo and a bunch of cr*p and stuff I simply didn't buy into (like gag me with a spoon). Then came the last day. The day when our parents came to pick us up. The day when we had to stand in front of an audience and talk about what our parents, our lives, meant to us. The day I bawled and blubbered in front of 100+ people. The day I realized -- yes -- I have feelings. These people in my life have meaning (despite their penchant for boobies and the pascal computer language). And, for lack of a better term, I was (and am) a sap.

Fast forward, I don't know, twenty-plus years. I am still a sap. I believe in human possibility. I believe in optimism. I believe in you and me and this world as a whole. And, yes, I believe in boobies -- after all they've nourished my three children.

I also believe we can band together. I believe it will work out for the best. I believe all my life experiences have meaning and importance (even that two week stent wrapping candles despite my four-year-degree). Simply put I believe.

Am I a sap? Oh yeah. Am I human? You betcha. Do I believe? Yes. Emphatically yes. I believe in you and me and this place and this time. I believe in little girls in tutus on skateboards. I believe in middle-aged women taking hip hop. I believe in brawny men with a penchant for vintage clothing. I believe in the kinetic energy of the teenager.

I believe all of our faults combined do not equal the goodness that swells just below the surface. I believe we, this world, can do this.

And that, tonight, is what I have to say.

Solace in the Ordinary

I visited SouleMama's blog today and was blessed with a wonderful reminder. There is great solace in the ordinary. This I know but oft forget.

I've been feeling small and helpless. Wanting to do more for our world. Wanting to reach out, act and make a difference. I've donated money. I've marched through the house turning out lights. I've lectured my brood about energy and waste. Yet it doesn't feel enough. I want to go to Japan and help -- provide veterinary care or move debris or simply reach out and hug those in need.

But the reality of the situation is I am here. My family needs me. The laundry awaits. The dishes are piling up. The dogs continue to shed and a thorough vacuuming is in order. These tasks also hold meaning. This life, my life, no matter how small, is important and warrants tending.

So I am seeking solace in the ordinary. I am washing dishes and letting the warm water run over my hands and pour into my soul. I am doing laundry and burying my nose in the softness and heat. I am knitting wash clothes with vintage needles and feeling a deep connection with women of the past. I am collecting eggs and marveling at my chickens and the wonders of this world. I am appreciating these moments with a full and open heart; these points in time that are everything and always will be everything.

This is not to say I've forgetten our friends across the sea. Far from it. I pledge to do what I can. But I am also turning inward and focusing on what is before me. Now if I could *just* figure out what's for dinner ...

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Things I'm loving today:

• William Carlos Williams and his beautiful simple poetry
• Late winter rain that signals spring's arrival
• The delectable smell of clothes fresh from the dryer
• Fresh laid eggs still warm to the touch
• A quiet house in which to gather my thoughts
• After school baking with my daughters
• The serene comforts of knitting (I hope to have knitting through any and all disasters).
• An upcoming book club with wonderful thoughtful women
• And the thought of crafty new environmentally friendly projects on the horizon

Thanks for stopping by!

XO

Every little bit ...

I am sitting in awe of the earth and our world. Earthquakes in Japan and New Zealand. Nuclear plants overheating. Venerable churches collapsing. These places top my travel bucket list. It feels strange knowing they've been damaged. Their residents have been damaged. People have died. My heart goes out to all affected.

And here I sit in my cozy home. My bed awaits. I am fed and clothed and sheltered. I am so lucky. It is yet another reminder of the fragility of our world. A reminder to appreciate each and every little thing in each and every day.

I want to reach out. To hug and console with the human touch. Alas I can not. But I can help. We can help.

As such 10% of my March Etsy sales will be donated to the Red Cross Disaster Relief Fund. It is the least I can do for this wonderful world that has given me so much.

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Forgive me for not posting earlier. I have been waylaid by family and minor illness and world events. Congratulations to the fifth commenter, Jennifer, for winning last week's giveaway.

And thank you for all your wonderful heartfelt comments. I *love* all the connections afforded by the internet. It truly warms my heart!

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And, finally, a list I've not been keeping up on but really ought to continue ...

Things I'm loving today:

• Gorgeous fluffy white Simpson clouds blooming in the sky.
• A night at work with Middle by my side (now she has a better appreciation for what Mommy does all night).
• A spectacular wonderful amazing package from my wonderful spectacular amazing friend Anita. How beautiful is it that someone I've never met in person could know me so well?!!
• A great book sent by my lovely friend Shelley. I can't wait to delve in.
• Being on Etsy's Front Page twice (twice) in one day (thanks Treasury Tree Teamies!!)
• Knitting -- dish clothes and a top secret project for a special friend.
• Waiting with greedy anticipation to see what color of eggs my new chickens will lay.
• And You. All you folks on the blogosphere who bring me such joy and hope and love.

XOXO