Now my kids think I'm cool ...

I gave the hub an i-tunes gift card for his birthday. He's downloading music like crazy and uploading it to his i-pod. This downloading and uploading is a new skill for him (welcome to the 21st century sweetie). Among others he downloaded "I Miss You" by Blink 182. This is my son's new favorite song. As a result it is also middle and baby sister's new favorite song. The four-year-old knows the lyrics by heart.

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare. The shadow in the background of the morgue.

Yes, yes, I know. Talk to their father. Although I must admit the tune is rather catchy and I've been singing it myself.

The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley, we can live like Jack and Sally if we want, where you can always find me, we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends, we'll wish this never ends.

So here is the cool part, the part related to mom that elevates her to a new status; one well above the bore who demands clean rooms and completed homework. I went to school with Mark Hoppus. Yeeeah, serious! It doesn't seem to matter that I don't remember him nor he me. It's enough that he's in my yearbooks: junior high and high school, albeit a year behind. I am like sooo cool! They're off to tell all their friends. My mom is wicked awesome! She knows a rock star (by proxy).

So there it is - my fifteen minutes. And you know what? I'll take it. I've been perusing Mark's site (for research of course) and I'm glad I'm not famous. Lot's of "i love you's" and "your f**king awesome" and other assorted comments with creepy "i'm stalking you" undertones. Just ignore the comment that goes something like, "Hi! You don't remember me but we went to school together. I think you are soooo cool and my kids just love you. If you are ever in the Pacific Northwest look me up. I'd love to get together and reminisce about good 'ol R/C. LOL! Those were good times!"

*cough, gag, puke*


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It wouldn't be fair of me to post old yearbook photos without posting one of myself. So, here you go. Shexy ain't it!

I like to knit, oh yes I do. I like to knit, how 'bout you?

I like to knit. I learned with a do-it-yourself book and basic needles. The first thing I made was far from perfect. The last thing I knit was far from perfect. But I have fun. I absolutely love that a simple ball of yarn can transform into something usable and dare I say ... attractive.

(By the way - thank you to the person who bid on my hand- knit scarf at Jeni B’s auction. You are supporting a good cause and lifting my spirits in one fell swoop! Somebody bid on the scarf, somebody bid on the scarf! Thank you, thank you!)

My latest project is a felted bag - The Constant Companion. I’ve made three of these bags thus far. The first was given as a diaper bag. The second, assuming I sew the lining before Saturday, is also slated as a diaper bag. The third is mine, all mine! It’s for my knitting supplies of course as they're my current baby. I’ve decided not only to line it but also to embroider it.

Now, I can knit. I’m comfortable with that. But my machine sewing skills are suspect. And embroidery? Never done it although I do a lot of hand-sewing at work - we call it suturing. The suture patterns I frequently use are simple-interrupted, simple-continuous and ford-interlocking (which looks suspiciously like a blanket stitch - I’ll bet ‘ol Ford stole that one from Grandma and put his name to it).

Anywho - Friday I finished knitting my bag and felted it. We have a front-loader and felting is a bit more difficult but it can be done. I usually end up finishing it in the dryer which has the added benefit of being more dry that with machine felting alone. I blocked it overnight and took it with me on our weekend trip to my folk’s house. I wanted to embroider a bird on the front to match the lining.

But here’s the catch. I can’t draw. However I can use a camera. So I took a picture of the lining, blew it up and printed it out. Then I traced the outline on waxed paper and voila! We have a bird. So began my adventures in embroidery. I probably should have looked up some stitches but no, I decided to wing it (get it? wing it?). And really it didn’t come out too bad. It does resemble a bird. We’ll just call it folk art.

I think the bag needs another bird and maybe a branch. Today I decided to seek professional help. I googled basic embroidery and found this site. Look at all the wonderful, new and fun stitches to play with. I may be hooked.

Don’t be surprised if the next time your dog goes in for laceration repair he comes out with a fancy closure. Maybe this, or this, or this.

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And now I have housework to attend to. It seems that while I was gone (a mere 30 hours) the dust bunnies had a party - a rager to be exact. Happy Monday!

Bloggers for Jeni

The ebay auction is up! You'll find this scarf, as well as, many many cool items. Go check it out!

Sex and Drugs

Boy will the perves be peeved when they find this post. Read on safely, read on - with one warning. A photo below may be too much for some young eyes. My kids? Been there, done that. They think it's hilarious. We don't coddle them much. Okay, you've been forewarned. Continue on.


I am allergic to juniper. No. Let me rephrase that. I am allergic to many, many, many things including juniper. Actually a better way to define my allergies is to say I am not allergic to mold. I am also not allergic to medications nor do I have known food allergies. Having said that I’ve had two cases of full body hives to which I can not attach a cause. Food may or may not be a culprit. And there are certainly times, especially after rich meals, when a bathroom becomes an absolute necessity. Things can move very quickly through the bowels. Enough said.

But, as far as environmental allergies are concerned, I am allergic to the world. And, yes, this list includes dogs, cats, rabbits, rats, mice and hamsters. Good veterinarian, good. Sit. Stay.

To counteract my allergies I take daily anti-histamine tablets and subject myself to allergy shots. I started getting four shots twice a week. I’ve been a compliant patient and have now graduated to three shots every two weeks. Lucky me! These shots have been helping a lot. My asthma is better. My allergies are much better. Then the juniper pollinated. Oh lawdy I am a stuffy, watery-eyed, snot-nosed mess.

This afternoon I needed help. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t see. I had to take all three kids to the dentist. So I stopped at a convenience store and went for the big guns - benadryl. Benadryl works. I can breathe. I can see. And I am wandering around in a fog. I set up a playdate for my daughter, she was to go to the neighbor’s house in fifteen minutes. I promptly forgot. Forty-five minutes later I remembered and she still got to play. But come on! Maybe it’s not the drugs. Maybe it’s early alzheimer’s.

I wish these trees would get a room already. Stop having your dirty dirty sex right in my front yard. I find yellow remnants all over my car! What has this neighborhood come to?

And speaking of neighbors. Remember my clothesline? My neighbors across the street do not have their own clothesline. But they elected to contribute to ours.



To be fair these boxer shorts were a gift from us after our trip to Italy. My neighbors went to Italy and all they brought me were these lousy boxers (actually we gave them grappa too - we do like our neighbors after all). And at least they put some laundry out on the line. I nearly peed my pants when I saw them out there, in the FRONT YARD, for all to see. We are trying to be environmental but we are not nudists. Really.

There has been an awful lot of sex in my yard. What’s a girl to do?

Conversations with the kids

Conversation with a four-year-old:

Her: Mom? Can I have some monies out of the money thingy?

Me: I don’t have any money.

Her: Yes you do! In the thingy.

I pull open the ashtray and hand her a nickel.

Her: I want more! Give me a penny!

Me: What do you say?

Her: Pleeeeeaase!

Me: Okay, how many pennies are there in a nickel?

Her (without hesitation): Five.

Incredulous I hand her five pennies.

Me: How many pennies are there in a dime?

Her: Two.

Me: No.

Her: Four?

Me: No.

Her: Five?

Okay, I’ll hold off on those college applications just yet. But I do wonder if she might be ready for kindergarten this fall rather than next ...

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Conversation with an eleven-year-old:

Him: They’re doing the four-star program at school.

Me: What’s that?

Him: It’s about abstinence.

Me: Oh. Well, I think abstinence has some valid points. After all sex doesn’t come without risk.

Him: You mean std’s?

Me: Yup, and babies. I don’t want my babies having babies.

Him: Mom? How old are people when they first have sex?

Me: I don’t know, I think it’s different for different people.

And if you ask about me I was forty. Oh wait, I'm not yet forty. Okay, thirty. Yeah, that's it thirty. He can't do math right? Okay twenty, minus two or three. But it doesn't really matter what I did, right?

Him: But what’s the average?

Me: I don’t know. I suspect some people in your school are having sex - which is way too young. And some people don’t have sex until they are thirty. I guess that averages out to something around eighteen.

Him: Weird.

Me: What?

Him: That’s only six years for me.

Me: Well, you can wait longer. I have no problem with that.

Him (sniggering): But I don’t want to be a forty-year-old virgin "... Hey, lady, can I put my bike in your car?”

Me: I think it went "...I hope you have a big trunk ‘cause I’m putting my bike in it.”

Him: Huh?

Me: Never mind.

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I’m in no hurry for the baby to start school. She'll get there soon enough. She can definitely wait another year. Definitely.

Earth Day!

Saturday was my town's Earth Day celebration. The weather was cold and intermittently snowing. But myself and a few tenacious neighbors hung our laundry in protest of local restrictive covenants. And so far so good - no wild complaints from the neighborhood association.



We also walked to the Earth Day Festival. There weren't many people out and about. My husband postulated it was too cold for those concerned about global warming. He's probably right. Go figure.

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In Honor of Earth Day Here Are Ten Things We Can All Do Now To Save Our Planet:

1) Let it all hang out - your laundry that is. Did you know that your electric dryer uses as much energy as a refrigerator and consumes more than six percent of the household energy? That's the scoop according to this article in the New York Times.

2) Change incandescent light bulbs to compact fluorescents. Flourescents have a longer life span and use 60 to 80% less energy according to TreeHugger.com.

3) Start a compost pile. Don't have room? Consider a worm bin. My worm bin, made from a $5.00 plastic storage container, sits in the garage outside the kitchen. And, honestly, "this poop don't stink."

4) Ride a bike or walk to work, the store, the mailbox (yes Dave and Michelle, I am talking to you. No one needs to drive one block to mailbox). The exercise is good for you, environmentally friendly and you'll save on gas - seems like a no brainer to me.

5) Recycle. Freecycle. Keep things out of the landfill.

6) Unplug your appliances and turn out lights when not in use. You could save as much as 25% on your electric bill. Check out this article on reducing standby waste. Eliminate this waste with a product such as Buy Buy Standby.

7) Conserve water: Set sprinklers to a timer, water only when necessary, fix leaky faucets, use low flow shower heads, wash only full loads of dishes, capture tapwater and on and on.

8) Turn down the thermostat to 68 degrees in the winter and turn it up to 78 degrees in the summer. Install a programmable thermostat and decrease the temperature even further at night. Nothing beats snuggling up with a warm blanket on a cool winter's eve.

9) Buy some candles and have Earth Hour once a week: perhaps a romantic dinner or Scrabble by candlelight. Or use the time to meditate, slow down and appreciate the simple things.

10) Garden organically. Use the soil from your compost or worm bin to fertilize. Avoid pesticides and herbicides. Organic mulch makes great weed control. And a little hand weeding? Why that is good for your soul.

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The remains of the day ...

Check out this great new flickr group called the Remains of the Day. It's a place to photograph your kitchen remains, seriously. You know, the things going into the compost pile (or the chicken coop. Yes, yes, I'm dreaming here. Are you listening hubbie? Our neighbors won't mind. Really they won't. )

One person's trash is another's treasure. Here are yesterday's remains from our house:




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So, raise your glass. Here's to conservation, saving both money and energy, healthy living and exercise for the body and soul. Here's to Mother Earth and all her progeny. Happy Earth Day!

Earth Day is Coming!

Last year in my little home town there was a major controversy. A woman, Susan Taylor, hung her laundry out to dry. This seemingly benign action sparked a major debate that made it all the way to the Wall Street Journal. You see, a clothesline went against her neighborhood’s covenants. And, as one neighbor put it, “this bombards the senses...it can’t possibly...make people think this is a nice neighborhood.”

Now I happen to live on this same little butte in this same little town, albeit not in the same neighborhood. And, I happen to love clotheslines. They are romantic, energy efficient and, in my humble opinion, aesthetic. So, in honor of Earth Day, my neighbors and I will be displaying our clotheslines with pride, in the FRONT YARD (Oh my, did she say that? A clothesline in the front yard? What is this world coming to? What about the property value?)

I’d like to invite all of you out in bloggerville to join me. Earth Day is April 22, 2008. This happens to be a Tuesday. But, my line will be out starting Saturday April 19th, rain or shine. Let's join together and show the world what Earth Day is really about!

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