March Update; We Continue to March Forward Towards the 1D Concert.

As you can see the girls have been making steady progress on their debt.  Only $269.00 to go to pay off four concert tickets. Today I was given an additional $50.00 (birthday money).

They still have to save for airfare, lodging, food, etc. Nonetheless I am proud of their accomplishments thus far.   

But earning enough money is not the only stipulation in this contract. Middle must also maintain a B average.  Here is the exact wording:

I also understand that my schooling can not suffer.  I must, from this point forward, get no grade less than a B.  If my grades are lacking I understand the tickets will be immediately disposed of.  I will, however, still be responsible for the monies borrowed.  

Today the grading period closes.  As of this moment Middle has four B's, two B minuses and a C+.  Yes.  A C+.  1.5 percentage points away from a B.  She is hoping to turn in some overdue work tomorrow. She hopes a)her teacher accepts it and b) this is enough to raise her grade.  There are also 15 ungraded points pending from another assignment.  Talk about walking a fine line.  

This C+ also presents a parenting dilemma.  Middle's grades are not an accurate reflection of her intelligence.  They are, however, an accurate reflection of her ability to turn in homework. And we've been working to remedy this.  These grades are a massive improvement from the D's and F's she had at the beginning of this trimester.  We've spent a lot of time at coffee shops pouring over geometry texts and reading "A Tale of Two Cities".  I can't begin to tell you how many hours have been spent encouraging and cajoling. If we stick to the strict letter of the law her incentive to succeed in school will be removed.    

Now I realize she will eventually need a different incentive (to do well for doing well's sake).  But I'm hoping the desire to go to the concert will be enough to help her develop beneficial homework habits. And I'm hoping these good homework habits will stick for life (perhaps a bit optimistic but, then again, perhaps not).  

So what's a parent to do?  Her father and I thought long and hard about this. And we've come to a conclusion.  In "real life" contracts are often altered, changed to meet mitigating circumstances.  Thus (now don't tell her this just yet) we will let a C+ slide.  We will write an addendum to the contract; something along the lines that the challenge will continue.  However at least one (if not more) A's will be expected on the next report card to counteract the C+.  

I may not need to write the addendum. She might just pull it off.  But the truth of the matter is she has been working hard -- both in school and on the incoming earning front.  I'd like to reward her positive behavior and continue to help her grow into the best human she can be.  

And I'm not yet ready to stop this experiment. Thus far I've seen nothing but good come from it. I'd like to see the trend continue. 

xo.  

Oh, and PS, we have two jewelry bars scheduled for March(hooray!).  If you are interested in helping "the cause" you can check out our jewelry site at peculiarfamily.origamiowl.com. Also, if you live in our area I know a great baby and/or pet sitter.  :o)

The Quest Continues (One Direction Here We Come)

As of right now the girls have their One Direction balance down to $754.81.  I am told there is another $400.00 or so pending from my daughter's cohort (Christmas money and from the sale of an xbox).  I've yet to receive these funds and am thus not counting my chickens before they hatch.

As an additional source of income Chloe and I have started a small business; we are now independent designers for Origami Owl.  Origami Owl is a social selling jewelry company that allows mother/daughter teams.  Thus we are learning the ins and outs of small business; costs vs profits.

To start this venture we had to make an initial investment of $175.00 (the starter package plus shipping).  I agreed to front the starter money.  However, Chloe will not be able to profit from our business until the starter money is earned back.  We are nearly there.  If you are interested in supporting our cause and getting some fun jewelry at the same time check us out at:

PeculiarFamily.OrigamiOwl.com

https://www.facebook.com/PeculiarFamilyJewelry

If you remember from our initial contract Chloe had to get all A's and B's on her report card.  She is a smart cookie so in theory this should be easy.  However she has had trouble turning in her homework (a component of her attention deficit, which by the way, was a major contributing factor to the impromptu ticket purchase).  Her mid-trimester grades were not up to par; not even close.  We've been working very hard to bring these grades up.  This means less time with friends and lots of time with Mom at coffee shops, work and other venues.  And our efforts are paying off.  If Chloe keeps up all the hard work she will have all A's and B's before the trimester ends.  

A side effect of all this school work; I can now tell you that the Louisiana Purchase was 3 cents an acre. I can also tell you Oregon joined the union on February 14, 1859.  And I can now solve this:

(x=16)

and this

(x=7)

Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?  

Chloe has a big assignment in her Advanced Language Arts class.  They are reading "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens.  She will be expected to keep copious notes on all the characters in the book.  This is an assignment that she can not afford to get behind on. 

Neither Mr. Peculiar nor I have read this book either.  Thus we purchased two extra copies and have started a family book club; it should be educational for us and help keep Chloe on track.  Our goal is to read 10 pages a day.

So yes, the learning continues; for father, mother and daughter.  This has been quite an adventure and thus far I have no regrets.

We still have a long way to go.  Once the ticket debt is paid off monies still need to be earned for travel (plane tickets for four people, rental car, gas, food, housing, etc).  

People in town still ask my daughter about her ticket purchase (the lady who owns the knitting shop, her school counselor, etc).  These are people I have not told directly.  Word has simply gotten around.  I suspect this is a life lesson that won't quickly be forgotten.  

XO.  

PS -- as I type this my youngest daughter is upstairs belting out "The Story of my Life" at the top of her lungs.  She is also a huge 1D fan and is very much looking forward to the concert.  As you can see from the account statement she has contributed funds for the trip.  She has also been a valuable resource pressuring her older sister to earn money and get good grades.  If Chloe falls short we will either take Ava to the concert on her own or refund her money.

So, Technically, My Daughter is a Felon.

Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook already know the story, at least the beginning. For those of you who haven't heard, here's what went down yesterday.  

While I was sleeping (I'd worked the night before) my 13-year-old daughter took my credit card and bought two 4th row tickets for One Direction to the tune of $600.00 a piece.  That's right. $1200.00 for two concert tickets.  Did she ask permission?  No. No she did not. 

This concert takes place in Phoenix, Arizona which is a mere 1111 miles from here. After she bought the tickets she started to cry. Not from remorse.  Rather from pure joy.  One Direction! Harry! Niall! The marketing machine that is One Direction has my daughter hook, line and sinker.  

Now, obviously, I was not nearly so pleased as she; especially when I found out I was the financier for this little operation. My husband and I considered many options from canceling the transaction to selling the tickets.  But where is the fun in that? Where is the lesson in that?  And so we came up with a different solution. 

Following is the contract we presented to our daughter this morning: 

I, the undersigned, acknowledge that I willfully committed fraud.  I used my mother’s credit card, without permission, and racked up $1200.00 worth of charges.  I understand that my parents are being lenient by not filing a police report. I also understand that stealing a sum greater than $1000.00 is a felony in the State of Oregon. Furthermore I understand that if convicted of a felony I could face up to a year in prison.  

My parents have been clear with me; $600.00 a ticket for 4th row One Direction seats is an unfortunate and irresponsible use of money.  There are many ways this money could be put to better use.  However it has also been acknowledged that I am my own person and as such I am allowed to spend my money as I choose.  The money used to buy these tickets, however, was not my money.  

By signing this document I irrefutably admit I have the coolest most wonderful parents on the planet.  They are the best because they are allowing me the chance to earn this money for myself.  The money put on the credit card will be considered a loan.  As a loan this money will be subject to interest.  Given that I am 13-years-old and with a questionable credit rating the interest rate will be 28% per annum.  Any given month that I do not cover the minimum payment a late fee of $30.00 will be charged to my account.  In addition I will be charged interest on the interest should the minimum payment not be met.  

I acknowledge that buying concert tickets to a stadium several states away is only the beginning of expenses I would expect to incur should the concert be attended.  If I am to attend said concert I will have to buy concert tickets for my mother and my sister.  In addition I will have to buy plane tickets for all four of us (my mother, my sister, my friend and myself). I will be responsible for all transportation costs (gas, rental car, vehicle insurance, etc). In addition I will be responsible for lodging, food and incidentals (concert tee shirts, etc).  

Once I calculate these expenses I will put them in a spreadsheet and present them to my parents.  Then a mutually acceptable timeline will be agreed upon and monthly financial goals will have to be met.  

I am allowed to be creative in earning the money for this trip.  I can set up a Go Fund Me or similar account.  It has been suggested that it will take all my creative spirit to convince people I unequivocally NEED to attend this concert.  I may not beg my parents for money.  I may not beg my relatives for money. I understand that the chores completed at home are my responsibility as a member of this family and as such do not come with monetary compensation.  If I am to sell items such as crafts or baked goods I am responsible for the seed money needed to create said items.  No additional loans will be granted. 

I also understand that my schooling can not suffer.  I must, from this point forward, get no grade less than a B.  If my grades are lacking I understand the tickets will be immediately disposed of.  I will, however, still be responsible for the monies borrowed.  

Finally, if I am unable to earn the money required for this trip the tickets will be donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation so that a truly deserving child will be able to see this band. As previously stated - I will still be required to pay back the loan.


X____________________________



Truth-be-told I will be shocked if my daughter is able to comply with the terms of this contract.  If she earns the money and maintains her GPA then good for her. I'll see you in Phoenix next September.  If she is unable to earn the money then I hope she will at least have learned something about life and its concomitant costs. And, perhaps, she'll even have a bit of extra change in her pocket.

Oh the joys of parenting!  

XO.  

Note: we've already had a spirited discussion about interest on loans.  Indeed it appears lessons are being learned. :o)

Addendum: after this blog post my daughter has decided to start her own blog and write from her perspective.  You can see her post here. 

State of Wonder

I'm having trouble with motivation.  I'd like to jump out of bed, happy and energetic, and ready to face the day. Ready to load the dishwasher, tackle the laundry, straighten the living room and plan the meals.  Instead I want to pull up the covers and remain sheltered.  Just shy of that I would settle for curling up on the couch and reading the day away.

As a consequence I have been reading a lot (and the dishes and laundry are piled high).  I just finished "The Forgotten Garden" by Kate Morton.   Additionally I read "The Cat's Table" by Michael Ondaatje (of  English Patient fame).  Both books, in one way or another, deal with ships and voyages.  As such I've found myself fantasizing.  At night, at work, tucked into the uncomfortable futon in the windowless office, my body swaying back and forth with specious motion, it's easy to pretend I'm on a cruise; in a windowless cabin deep in the bowels of the beast.  The grumbling HVAC unit only adds to the fantasy as it grunts and groans like an onboard motor.

I lay there and imagine I'll wake up somewhere exotic.  The discomfort.  The swaying.  It'll all the worth it once our destination is reached.  Eventually I do drift off to sleep, tossing and turning and hoping and dreaming.  Alas I wake to find myself firmly ensconced in the bowels of a strip mall and not a cruise ship.  A disappointment to be sure.

And yet there is a sense of contentment, of joy, from the simple act of fantasizing.  There is great beauty in sitting and letting the mind wander.  Something I engaged in daily as a child.  Oh the days when I would lie on the floor basking in a sun spot dreaming of this and that.

I'd love to allot similar time for my children.  We already limit after school activities; dance once a week for the girls and one sport for the boy.  Free time, however, gets filled with mindless television and/or Facebook sessions.  I'll readily admit to not being the best example.

We've started some new rules.  Computers automatically shut down at 9:30 pm.  All hand held devices are, at the same time, supposed to be turned over for parental control.  And yet the rules aren't always enforced.  We parents are tired.  We struggle to do what we know is right.

I'd love to schedule family reading hour and family game night and family dinner (though I also don't mind eating dinner while challenging the kids to Jeopardy).

I tell myself I would do these things if only I didn't have to work.  If only I wasn't so exhausted.  And maybe that's true.  Then again maybe not.  At any rate I do have to work and raise and family and I need to figure how to best do things sooner than later.  And that includes the dishes and laundry.

For now I'm compromising.  I've got a couple of books on tape (or cd or whatever).  I need to pull these out and listen while cleaning.  To get off my duff and get a few things accomplished.

Then I need to sit down and make a plan.  A plan for our family to rely less on a media driven world.  A plan for interaction and harmony.   A plan for fantasy and a plan for contentment.

Here's hoping for a state of wonder.

xo.